Spring is when life’s alive in everything…
- Christina Rosetti -

The clocks have since been set to an hour ahead, and the porch lamps take their time now, leisurely lighting the evening. The air is growing warmer and chats over fences with neighbors are getting longer; crocuses are popping up in my still-withered garden, the heavy jackets are being discarded to the backs of closets, and open windows welcome the fresh air as it breezes into the house.

The sun is stronger, the days are longer…

But, most importantly: the geese are back.

Which means fluffy, tiny, baby geese.

Which means a permanent smile etched on my face for hours every time I see them waddling about.

Yep. Spring is here, and warmer weather is near.

It’s a time of change, and not just the seasons…I can feel something changing in me just as I can feel the world changing without me.

It’s nothing short of beautiful and thrilling and terrifying all at once.

And I’m ready for it.

So as the season shifts, and as I gear up for a busy few months ahead filled with bridal shower planning (hi Sarah!), trips to NYC (one week, Lyssa and Sam!), Lock Haven, DC, and elsewhere, and projects both work and writing-related, I’m doing a little bit of housekeeping, a little bit of planning, and a whole lot of reflecting…

- Housekeeping -

- If you’re reading this on the site, you’ll notice the installation of the Hello Bar at the top of the page. Because I long to someday participate in full-blown philanthropy and wholeheartedly believe in activism in an effort to create change for a better world, and because, for now, I have only this outlet to serve as my voice in building awareness, each month a different cause will be profiled.

The title of the charity and a quick-link to donation details can be found on the top bar; on the first of each month (beginning April 1) a detailed summary of the chosen charity will be posted here and categorized under “Charity Spotlight.” Do you have a non-profit organization or charity I should be aware of? Let me know your favorites and they might be featured here!

- Over the past few weeks, I’ve been making minor tweaks to the site (with some teeny-tiny mistake-fixes, thanks to the brilliant patience of Andrew Norcross!). Feel free to take a look around at the updated and restructured Archives, the newest Picture Book, and brand-new Reader Wisdom — featuring your comments and some of the most beautiful and thoughtful insights received on this blog. I’ve always maintained that this community is  made up of some of the smartest and most genuine people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and your words are a testament to that. Thank you.

- In The Works -

- I’m currently in the middle of phasing out my creative writing site, Typescript. While I enjoyed the run it had, the passion and patience it takes to maintain two blogs just wasn’t enough. But my love of writing hasn’t waned; instead, it has only grown and transformed. Now, you can find select fiction under the cleverly-titled Fiction section, and I’ll occasionally be re-publishing relevant posts from Typescript here to twenty(or)something under the category “Writerly.”

- Call for writers! twenty(or)something is still open to guest posts! Thanks to Andi, Dani, Grace, and Anna for sharing a piece of themselves and their writing this past month! Guest posts will be open until the end of April – mid-May as I attempt to go on hiatus (which is proving much more difficult than it seemed) to work on other creative projects, which I’m extremely excited for and hope to talk about/debut in the near future.

If you’re interested in guest posting, feel free to contact me at twentyorsomething [at] gmail.com or say hello on Twitter!

- Reflection -

Last week, I received an Advanced Reader Copy of fellow blogger Jenny Blake’s new book, “Life After College: The Complete Guide To Getting What You Want.” The book truly couldn’t have come at a more poignant time, as the past few weeks have been a bit emotionally difficult — as my self-esteem took a hit, as personal situations became more prevalent. So this is what growing up means, I’ve thought.

And I’ve realized it doesn’t get any easier whether you’re twenty-something, or forty-something, or eighty-something.

Life happens. And you happen with it.

These are the topics that have always been at the forefront of my mind, the subject matter of this very blog, though never more profoundly than now. The afternoon that I found the book waiting for me on my porch steps, I tore open the package and skimmed past the sections of Work and Money and Organization — those I would read later, but these I needed most, right now, in these moments.

Jenny’s inspiration pours from the pages much as it does on her blog. Holding the book that is pure evidence of all her work inspires you to follow your own dreams to fruition, yet inside its pages holds a key to understanding the whirlwind of emotions I found myself in on that day. Pencil in hand, I tried to figure out what I was feeling.

And then…

I realized for myself what I’ve always known to be true — when you strip away the uncertainty, when you get rid of the chaos and competition, when you take a closer look at your life and what matters, you’ll find there’s only love.

Love for others.

Love for family, love for friends.

Love for yourself.

Love for life.

And maybe love for fluffy baby geese.

(Buy the book!)

* * * * *

That’s it for now! Happy Friday, happy spring…

Happy everything.

What’s your purpose? What are you here for?   

To teach? To learn? To give, to heal? To seek, to find?

To serve?

To save?

To live?

There are those certain books that you just know you have to read…Those books that you spot as you’re idly wandering past a bookstore, the ones that you pick up and skim through on a whim. There are those books that you keep returning to time and again, reading the jacket over and again, knowing that, even in the smallest of ways, even for just an hour, a minute, a moment, it will change your life.  Or, at least, make you wonder.

A Dog’s Purpose was waiting there on the library shelf, the face on the front cover begging to be picked up and, as anything pertaining to dogs is certain bait for me, I did. The novel by W. Bruce Cameron is one for humans, it reads on the cover, and indeed those who will find the beauty in this book are those who have known what it means to love a dog…

“What if your dog never dies? What if dogs live multiple lifetimes, and remember all of them?
What if every animal has a purpose, and your pet’s purpose is intimately bound to yours?
A Dog’s Purpose tells the story of a dog who finds himself reincarnated and decides there must be a reason, a purpose he must fulfill, and until he does so, he’ll continue to be reborn.
The story is narrated by Bailey, a wise and funny dog who is very much…a dog.”
- A Dog’s Purpose (.com)

The book is phenomenal — not just for its clever storytelling and unusual narrator, but because it forces the reader to question their own purpose and place in the world (and, perhaps also, to consider just what loving an animal really means and how much it can change you).

I picked up the book on Thursday; I read through it on Friday.

I smiled.

I cried.

Then I raced upstairs to find Riley and squeeze the ever-love out of him as I sobbed rather unattractively into his fur.

I’ve been lucky enough to have loved those animals that have blessed my life. The names of Lea, Lucy, Sampson, Hercules, and Cody — not to mention Riley — are forever etched on my heart. I’m convinced that loving these dogs has shown me how to love — unabashedly, devotedly, wholeheartedly. And being loved by them — these beautiful creatures who show such loyalty, delight, and unquestioning, unwavering adoration — has proven that this kind of pure love can exist in the world.

Maybe it shows that we can be capable of such love as well.

As I reached the end of the book and ran to find Riley, who kindly didn’t have a choice but to let me hold him while I sobbed yet again, I immediately decided that I wanted you to share in the torture pleasure of this book.

So… It’s giveaway time!

G I V E A W A Y

(Y A Y!)

To enter the drawing, leave a comment below with your name and email address between now and Sunday, January 16 (11:59pm EST) telling me about the dogs you’ve loved, what they mean/have meant to you, or what purpose you believe your own life holds.

One reader will be randomly selected to receive a brand-new copy of W.  Bruce Cameron’s A Dog’s Purpose (tissues may or may not be included).

Funny dog stories are also acceptable, smiles welcomed.

Happy Puppy Lovin'!

Disclaimer: I get nothing out of this except the joy of spreading the love around a bit, and I heretofore take no responsibility whatsoever for any tears shed. Unless they’re happy ones.

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) - sung by Sarah McLachlan

So this is Christmas,
and what have you done…

Salvation Army Kettle Campaign | Credit: SA Canada

Another year over,
a new one just begun.

American 2010 Olympic Gold Medalists | Credit: Telegraph

And so this is Christmas;
I hope you have fun…

2010 FIFA World Cup | Credit: Vancouver Sun

The near and the dear ones,
the old and the young.

Haiti Earthquake Relief | Credit: San Diego News

A very Merry Christmas,
and a happy New Year…

Chilean Miner Rescue | Credit: Guardian UK

Let’s hope it’s a good one
without any fear…

Merry Christmas!

Wishing you and yours
the happiest of holidays!

thank you providence
thank you clarity
thank you, thank you…
Alanis Morissette, “Thank U”

#Reverb10 is a blogging initiative that provides prompts every day for the month of December with the intent of reflecting on the past year and looking forward to what’s to come. While I can’t promise that I’ll be rising to the challenge of blogging every day, reflecting on the past for future growth is pretty much in this blog’s description, and so I’m glad to be a part of this movement.

Are you taking part? Let me know! I’d love to see your own reflections and words on how you’d like to manifest positive change in the coming year.

The Prompt

“Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?”

I thought I would have the easy answer, that I could respond to this prompt with something simple like ”Life” or “Beauty” or “Love.” But life is more complicated than that — emotions are more beautifully complicated. And love? Well…That exists in everything I’m grateful for.

My family, my friends, my pets, my job, my health, my house, this community, those passions, these dreams…

It’s like a cliched Thanksgiving speech — listing everything in my life that means something to me, every reason I have to be thankful. And yet, there’s so much more to those simple words, reasons and experiences behind the definition that makes that gratitude ever more profound.

Like, when my mom went to every doctor’s appointment with me while we were still trying to get a diagnosis, holding me as I cried in frustration, listening when I lashed out at her in uncontrollable, uncharacteristic, unwarranted anger.

Or when a friend invited me out for dinner and drinks to celebrate her 30th birthday, unknowingly helping me feel like I could be a part of the world again, pushing through that anxiety one step at a time until…

Awakening.

There’s Riley, keeping me present, keeping me calm amid insecurity and irrational fear; there’s the absolute patience of my dad as I make the greatest decision of my life thus far; there’s old dreams coming to fruition, there’s new dreams taking place.

There’s you.

Each of you who have been here with me along the way.

When I list these things that fill my heart, I realize the word “appreciate” scarcely covers it; I can barely begin to describe the depth of that emotion, to explain the experiences and connections that lie beneath what seems to be such simple words — family, friends, community — but are yet so much more.

Maybe there’s always so much more…

Maybe Life, Beauty, and Love does encapsulate all these things I’m grateful for. Maybe I really can sum up everything I appreciate so easily, in seemingly simple words…

So, ask me again: What’s the one thing you’ve come to appreciate most in the past year?

Life. Beauty. Love.

And how do you express gratitude for it?

By loving this beautiful life.

It only takes a moment…For more thoughts on appreciation from around the blogosphere, check out the Appreciation Revolution!

If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him…
What would you ask if you had just one question?
Joan Osbourne, “One Of Us”

It’s still on my mind…

Loss, love, spirituality — trying to find yourself, forgive yourself, understand yourself. Trying to figure out what I believe in and how it shapes my world; trying to understand where I fit in, what role do I play, and how does that begin to matter.

Trying to understand.

All of these questions I’ve been asking myself on this blog these past two years…

All of these questions, all this time…

And yet, sometimes I feel like I’m at the very beginning, still struggling to navigate my way through this part of my life, questioning the world around me and doubting everything within.

It takes time. Lessons aren’t learned in a day, but rather throughout a lifetime, I know this. But sometimes it feels like there are so many more questions than answers. And sometimes, that’s really all you want, all you need — one answer, something definitive and concrete, a declaration, loud and clear, that says, “this is who you are; this is what you’re meant for.”

Why am I here, now? Why now and what next and why can’t we ever be sure?

Why can’t we be afforded that comfort we crave, the serenity we seek, the affirmations we need?

Why is hope sometimes so hard to hold onto?

(Why is it that sometimes love just isn’t enough…)

We wonder why and we question what and we think we have a grasp on it, can catch a glimpse of that bigger picture before it begins to fade, like a memory you can’t be sure of. And so you’re back to wondering…

What is my purpose, what is it that I’m meant for?

To help, to hope? To comfort? To teach? To learn?

To love?

Who am I?

Am I that girl who clings to her past, hesitant to let go of a comfort she’s always known? Or am I the one who looks towards the promise of the future,believing in the beauty of a dream even during the waking hours?

Am I the woman who treasures her solitude and claims independence? Or am I the one who seeks consolation in company?

Am I meant for love? Am I meant for this?

Am I meant for more?

The more I learn, the more I realize that I have so much more to learn. And the more questions I have, the more I realize that I really don’t have any answers at all.

I wonder if any of us really do.

I wonder if we’re meant to.

Maybe that’s part of this journey — to seek, to understand, to question and to find our own answers to these questions that haunt every one of us, at some point or another.

And maybe those answers will change as we change — as we travel through life, experiencing, growing, living and learning.

Maybe there will always be questions. Maybe there will never be definitive, concrete answers.

Maybe if we keep asking those questions, we’ll be one step closer to finding our answers.

Maybe…

I wonder.

What would you ask if you had just one question?